Cash.

I actually finished a book this evening.  A painstaking monthlong journey through the autobiography of Johnny Cash.

I’m not a country music fan, but the richness of the culture behind it, the struggles of the sharecropper in rural Arkansas during and immediately after the depression, have brought me a new appreciation of it. 

More than that, I have a whole new understanding of the man behind the movement.  I not only feel like I know him, but I feel like we’ve been sitting on the porch evening after evening, deep in conversation.  It really was an amazing experience. 

As I continue to reflect on what I have read, what I have “experienced” in Johnny’s own words, it strikes me that Mr. Cash was the quintessential human being.  The embodiment of that daily struggle between good and evil that is the definition of being human.   I have never identified so closely with a person whose life was so fundamentally different from mine.  He was a man at war with himself, as we all are on a daily basis.  And he came out the other end with a grace we should all hope to achieve.  He could have been another Peter, or King David.  Heck, we all could.

I won’t call him my hero, because he would refuse to accept it.  But there is little I wouldn’t give just for one of those porch conversations.  It may sound strange, but I really miss him.

 

what i did on my christmas vacation.

well, so far, i’ve read and eaten and shopped and, um, watched Prison Break. 

You see, my addictive personality dictates that when I begin watching a tv show on dvd, i must watch the entire series commercial free, in any spare time i have.  Case in point, Roswell (which I wound up buying, and have now watched the entire series twice), Firefly, the OC (hanging my head in shame–YES, the OC), Rome, and now Prison Break.  Holy crap.  I’m honestly not a vegetable (although does a potato really know its a potato?), I am just easily drawn into stories.

Let me ramble a minute about PB.  (Please excuse the “message board geek” style abbreviation that I just now used.  It just came out.)

I love the premise–a structural engineer robs a bank so that he can break his wrongly-convicted death-row inmate brother out of prison from the inside.  Before said bank robbery, Engineer has spent months orchestrating an impossibly intricate escape plan using the blueprints for the prison building (which he just happens to have access to at the firm where he works) and what can only be described as a buttload of research on every possible aspect of the prison, including the serial numbers of the screws in the bleachers in the “yard.”  So here’s the coolest part of the entire show, and the deal-breaker for me:  after trying in vain to memorize the complicated passages and tunnels and general plumbing of the prison, Engineer disguises the blue prints in an elaborate tattoo which covers his entire torso.  That was the moment when I exclaimed, “This show ROCKS!”  From this point on, he is known as Hot Engineer Genius.

So, well, the rest of the show can get pretty outlandish.  With enough near-misses and unplanned obstacles that you kind of giggle about it after a while (or sigh in exasperation as some other complication arises), the intensity factor of every episode takes over and I still find myself living on the edge of my seat.  So I’m officially addicted.  And waiting for the next discs to come in the mail is KILLING ME.

 

sir francis said it best.

“Knowledge is power.”  Sir Francis Bacon, late 16th century.

 I posted this quotation on the wall of the my media center, along with James A. Garfields “Ideas control the world.”  This is why I became a teacher.

If I have learned anything over the past decade, it is that information changes the world.  The more you know, the more you change.  The more you change, the more others change.  Exponential change, person-by-person.  Society by society. 

Add to that that information has never been more accessible to the person on the street.  Technologies and media have enabled us to become the most informed society in the history of the world, and any person can find any information within a matter of seconds.  It’s not just for scientists and scholars anymore–now a grocery-store cashier can go home to find the latest information on climate change, genocide in Africa, or the plight of emperor penguins in Antarctica.  You cannot be exposed to the wonders, miracles, and tragedies of this world without being changed in some way.  Then what do you do?  You share it with others.  Send an email, put it on your blog, make posters, or hold a rally.

So I have created a new page here, websites of mass instruction, on which I have posted several websites I visit often in order to stay informed.  Take a look if you want.  Or don’t.  It’s up to you.  That’s the thing about education; no matter how easy it is, it still requires action to seek it out.

 

childhood: they don’t make it like they used to.

Okay.  So I’m turning into my mother. 

Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy the humor of Shrek, Chicken Little, and Happy Feet.  It’s clever. 

But is it really necessary to have two heart-warming, endearing characters doing karoake to the Spice Girls “If you want to be my lover”?  Does the sweet heartsong of a penguin really have to include the words “I’ll make love to you like you want me to”?

I guess I just wish we didn’t rush our children to become acclimated to such concepts.  Movies that are marketed for children (even though adults enjoy them too, they ARE marketed for children–that’s what the happy meal toy is for) are becoming more and more “street” in an effort to reach children who are becoming more and more so, I suppose.  But who really cares which came first, the chicken or the egg?  The societal “development” or the marketing strategy?  The marketers are making conscious decisions to perpetuate the cycle.  Check out the Frontline documentary Merchants of Cool to get smacked in the face by the marketing world and it’s relentless manipulation of youth in the name of making a buck.  (By the way, you can watch this doc and many others at freedocumentaries.org)

When I was teaching third grade and began to notice the heavy makeup, short skirts (I don’t care if they’ve got shorts attached underneath…), and big hoop earrings dangling from the ears of 8 year olds, I began to look more closely at what they were watching and being influenced by.  Not that the makers of movies like Shrek are solely responsible, but they do offer enough evidence of the societal values that are changing children.  Thanks MTV.  Goodbye, Never-Never Land.  Cartoons aren’t for kids anymore. 

I hate that the innocence of childhood is nearly extinct nowdays.  Listen to a room of kids sing to themselves while they work intently… you’ll hear “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” and “My lovely lady lumps” and “You can lick my lollipop”.  I’ve heard kids, kindergartners included, singing all these songs at some point in my teaching career.  Seriously.

Parents have never been more important than they are today.  Their competition is stronger and greedier than ever.

Now I’m going to return to my DVR and watch a documentary about eating disorders.  Wonder where THAT came from.

 

this one is about paul the phone salesman

I may be a little late on the bandwagon with this, but in case you haven’t seen it, take a minute to check out the newest vid on my vodpod–Paul sings opera.  It is such an amazing example of power, grace, and beauty that resides in every human being, regardless of how we feel about ourselves or are seen by others.  Tim’s blog, which I suggest you take a moment to read (go to Oct 25th post), puts flawless words to the significance of this performance.  And watch the audience closely… the effect that this man, this awkward seemingly-mediocre phone salesman, has on the people in the room.  Wow.  What a breathtaking materialization of what it means to be made in God’s image.

(by the way, thanks lil bro for sending it to me!)

 

bipolar king david

The more Bible I read, the more I connect with it.

I mean, take away the kings and kingdoms, prophets and princes, donkeys and Pharisees, and there’s me.  My life.  Now.

I first began to notice it when I read Psalms, straight through, for the first time.  Not “sunday school” reading, but real think-about-it-soak-it-in-wrestle-with-it reading.  Suddenly the glorious hero of sunday school days who killed the giant Philistine with a sling shot and a single stone between the eyes is either throwing himself a perpetual pity party in the depths of despair or flying high in a euphoria of triumph and thanksgiving for all God has done for him. It’s almost comical, if it weren’t so typical! Hell-o… that is SO me.  And david was chosen by God.

Then there’s Peter.  Pathetic Peter.  A chosen disciple who managed to screw up just about every chance he got to prove himself.  Couldn’t stay focused long enough to walk on the water with Jesus.  Freaked out under public pressure and betrayed Jesus THREE times, despite his passionate protests some hours earlier that he would never do such a thing.  Lashed out in anger at Jesus’ arrest and was rebuked by Christ himself.  And yet, in the book of Acts, the Holy Spirit inhabits him, and Peter preaches a sermon that inspires so many people to follow Christ that Christianity soon becomes a major world religion.  I absolutely LOVE that part of the story, when Peter the screw-up becomes Peter the Rock, upon which Christ will build his church.

Then there is Esther, the righteous queen who risks her life on behalf of her people.  She is the woman I want to be.

There is so much for us in the Bible.  So much to learn.  So many real people to identify with, not just characters in sunday school stories and cartoons.  Archaic though it may seem to others, the stories and the lives in the Bible continue to inspire me toward pursuing a higher purpose.  My mood swings, my screw-ups, my betrayals cannot separate me from it.

 

diary of a book lady

So I’ve done it. After 10 years in the classroom, I have transitioned to the library. I have to say I am loving it… no papers to grade, no ridiculous tests to shove down the throats of blossoming 8-10 year olds, no more figuring out schedules and when to cram in which district-mandated program. I just teach and be with the kids. I love hearing them gasp at the suspenseful ending in Library Dragon, or laugh at the wittiness of Shel Silverstein, or widen their eyes in awe at the spectacular sights of Planet Earth. This is why I went into teaching, and why I left the classroom.

It’s great, although my first couple sessions with kindergarten have been reminiscent of the beginning scenes in Kindergarten cop… YIKES! They’re cute, but 25 at once is a bit much for me. Add to that trying to get books checked out and explain to them the concept of “borrowing” books as well as not pounding and pushing random buttons on the computer… and, well, the cliche “herding cats” springs heartily to mind. It has been fun getting to know all of the kids though… to see them running vivaciously toward me on the playground yelling “I know you! You’re the book lady!” It’s quite touching!

 

my own private fight-club.

I love to read. But as books go, I’m a bit random. I tend not to have much patience for books that don’t punch me in the face, and out of the 13 books I’ve started this summer (NOT an exaggeration), I’ll probably only finish one. That tends to be my literary “books begun: books finished” ratio. In fact, I could probably count the number of face-punchers I’ve read in my life on one hand.

Fatherland by Robert Harris (multiple bloody noses from this one… gets better each time I read it)
Waking the Dead by John Eldredge (perhaps the only non-fiction book I’ve finished of my own volition in my life. I love non-fiction, but after 3 days of one topic, I’m interested in something else… there is just TOO much to learn out there!)
Black/Red/White trilogy by Ted Dekker
Bride of Sforza by Miranda Seymour (which launched me into an historical fiction frenzy in college that continues 10 years later)
Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant

So there’s my one hand.

Here’s the thing though–finding these books is a random, frustrating process for me. In the case of John, Ted, Miranda, and Robert, I made it through a few of their other books, and found some enjoyable, others not so much. No more socks in the gut though. Sarah wound up being a dead end–Venus was an aberration in a series of frothy, poppy mysteries (BIG disappointment).

Okay, a 6th finger–
The Love Letters by Madeleine L’Engle. Again, I enjoyed a few of L’Engle’s other books, but walked away rather untouched.

So I’ve come to view it as an act of God (literally, not in the homeowner’s insurance sense of the word) when I come across something that I am compelled to read in every waking moment, when I can’t wait to get home so I can curl up in bed and dive back in. I guess it’s a good thing, though–without the droughts, I’d probably never leave the house.

 

no sleep tonight (title courtesy of the faders)

2am. Can’t sleep. Summer is here and normal-person sleep patterns are a thing of the past (and near future, unfortunately). I’ve always thought God had a good-natured laugh when he gave me the passion to be a teacher–I don’t know of a single elementary school that starts at noon–but then there’s summer. Every year I promise myself I will try to maintain a normal routine to make that fall transition easier. Something happens in June, though, and I morph into my college-student alter ego–2am Taco Bell runs (not as much fun when you aren’t in a car full of fellow dormmates), idiotic cable movies too stupid for prime time, reading book after book after book (except this time I get to CHOOSE what I read)–I might go to bed at 7pm, I might crash at 7am. I might crash at 7am, wake up at 1, then go back to bed at 7pm… life of luxury, right? Until I have to be somewhere at 8 in the morning (I actually use my summer to take classes, so I do have places to be…) and I’m on my 7am bedtime cycle. I REALLY screw up my body during the summer, and never fully recuperate during the school year. I just can’t help myself though–I’m a night person. I LOVE nighttime, and I don’t want to miss it by sleeping through it! The quiet, the peace, the breeze, the stars and moon–day is fine, but night is perfect.